Jennifer Hayden felt the tears coming as soon as she stepped through the doors.

The gym at Pilgrim Baptist Church had been transformed for a Christmas party — toys were stacked on tables, craft stations lined the walls and Santa’s red velvet throne sat waiting by a tree in the corner. Families filled the room with children, some clinging to their parents, others wandering between the tables.

Hayden said she has cried nearly every day since her son, Hunter Kendrick Orlando, was shot and killed in May. Most days, her tears are for Hunter. But as she looked out at the strangers gathered in the gym, they suddenly came from a different source — the familiar grief etched into their faces.

This Christmas party was for families like hers: families who have lost loved ones to gun violence.

The nonprofit FEDUP, Families Expecting Deliverance Using Prayer, held its annual Christmas of Hope on Dec. 13. Founded in 2005 by a group of six women who had lost family members to gun violence, the nonprofit supports families with monthly grief support meetings, a funeral fund and gatherings on major holidays. 

This year’s Christmas of Hope arrives as the number of fatal shootings in Roanoke declines. The city recorded nine fatal shootings in 2025, according to police department data through Dec. 14, down from a record high of 22 in 2023. 

But even as these numbers fall, FEDUP’s work continues. On that December afternoon, nearly 100 people affected by gun violence streamed into the gym, finding a rare place of solace during what can be one of the most difficult times of the year. 

A sense of comfort

Less than 24 hours earlier, the gym had been completely empty. FEDUP co-founder and president Rita Joyce stood amid piles of toys, supplies and decorations — all waiting to be transformed into a winter wonderland. 

Planning, decorating and coordinating Christmas of Hope has become a holiday tradition for Joyce since she helped launch the nonprofit’s first event in 2005. The small gathering at the West End Center included just the founding members and a handful of other families who had also lost a relative. Between their own resources, the group pulled together decorations, crafts and food to make the day feel special for the children. 

Joyce’s memories of that day are clouded by grief; she had lost her son Joey Lee Joyce just a year earlier. But what she does remember is watching her grandchildren laugh and feeling a sense of relief for one of the first times since her son died.

“Getting through the hurt of losing my son was because of FEDUP,” she said, “and what it did for me to be around the like-minded people who had experienced the loss.”

“Just the atmosphere brought a sense of comfort,” she added, “because I felt that we were doing something in spite of our grief.”

Feeling familiarity 

Hayden took a moment to collect herself in the bathroom before heading back to the gym.

Scanning the crowd, she felt nervous. She didn’t recognize any familiar faces. Her thoughts turned to Hunter’s young daughters, Ryleigh and Serenity, who she adopted after their father died, and how they might react to the day. She wasn’t sure what to expect.

A few minutes later, the event started. Heads bowed together in prayer, and for a moment, the room fell silent, shared grief hanging in the air. 

Then, the speakers crackled to life, filling the space with holiday music. Slowly, children branched off from their parents, drawn by the promise of face paint, crafts and games. Easy chatter and laughter soon followed. 

For a few hours, the gym felt like any other Christmas party.

The community gives 

After FEDUP’s early years, the nonprofit went dormant, strained by limited funding, Joyce said. But after 2020, when gun-related homicides in Roanoke began to rise, renewed concerns — and investment — helped revive the organization.

In 2022, Christmas of Hope returned, arriving just ahead of 2023, the city’s deadliest year of gun violence. With a record number of families in need and limited funding, Joyce said the event had to be exclusive. Only families of 2023 victims were invited, and each child received one gift.

This year was different. After months of what Joyce called “very intentional” fundraising, FEDUP brought in more donations for Christmas of Hope than ever before.

FEDUP’s biggest sponsor was the city’s Youth & Gang Violence Prevention & Intervention Team; the group donated at least $2,000, Joyce said. Health insurance provider Anthem also contributed at least $1,000. 

Other sponsors who donated $500 or less included the Roanoke City Police Department, Councilwoman Vivian Sanchez-Jones and Mayor Joe Cobb. RPD added even more gifts to FEDUP’s existing pile, and Sanchez-Jones and Cobb both attended the event. Lunch was provided by eight local restaurants and grocery stores. 

Unlike past years, where Christmas of Hope was limited to families of the most recent victims, Joyce said the funding allowed FEDUP to expand the event, opening doors to any Roanoke family who had ever lost a relative to gun violence. 

Seeing children and families from past years made the event “even more special,” Joyce said. 

“We should continue to service them every year,” she said. “And as long as we can get the funding, we will probably continue to do that.”

A 'powerful' event

By midafternoon, the mood in the gym had gone from uncertain to exuberant. Sneakers squeaked across the polished floors, paint decorated laughing faces and once-shy families mingled over the lunch buffet. 

Santa’s arrival only doubled the enthusiasm. The children swarmed as he made his way to the throne, some bounding with excitement, others trailing behind in awe. 

After Santa took his seat, one by one, the children who lost a family member this year were called to his lap.

Jennifer Hayden joined the line behind her girls. Ryleigh bounced with joy, and Serenity’s grin never faded. They climbed onto Santa’s lap, all giggles.

Snapping pictures on her phone, Hayden couldn’t help but smile too. 

It wasn’t just their squeals at the Minnie Mouse tea set, the Easy Bake oven or the Play-Doh. It seeing was the joy in their eyes — the kind she hadn’t seen since their father died. 

“I think that this is probably, since their father passed away, one of the biggest and the most powerful events that they have been to,” she said. “And I think they were really, really happy.”

Breaking generational curses

Throughout the day, somber moments still surfaced. A teenager sat alone in the bleachers, head low. Parents quietly wiped their eyes. Joyce wrapped her arms around a boy who suddenly broke down crying. (She later shared that he had lost his father just a month earlier.)

In her 20 years with FEDUP, Joyce has seen the many shapes grief can take, especially in children. Sudden breakdowns. Self-isolation. Anger. Helping them face that grief, Joyce said, can help “break generational curses,” and end cycles of violence. 

According to RPD, 14 of the 22 identified offenders in criminal gun-related incidents this year were under 29. Six were under 21, and four were juveniles. 

“This is why you need to be here: To be able to understand grief, but also to understand why we should not be doing an eye for an eye,” Joyce said. “How can we help you heal, so that that healing will trickle down to your other family members?”

Staying relevant

After the tables were cleared of toys and the families trickled out the doors, Joyce boxed up decorations and considered FEDUP’s year ahead.

“We were so blessed this year,” she said, referring to the abundance of donations that left the team packing up extra food and toys. 

But, Joyce explained, the team is up against challenges.  

“My concern is that as gun violence decreases, then the city, or whoever else, might not think the relevance of FEDUP is important,” she said. 

Even as fatal shootings decline across the city, Joyce said FEDUP’s work remains just as necessary. While their programming focuses mainly on supporting victims’ families after a tragedy, she hopes to add more youth-focused prevention programs moving forward.

“FEDUP, we may be seen as the after effect,” she said, “but with more funding, we can be more than that. We can be in the community, helping the youth.”

The first Christmas without Hunter will still be hard for Hayden and her family. As the holidays draw closer, including Hunter’s January birthday, she said she still cries almost every day. But a few hours of support from FEDUP, she said, have made a difference.

“I think that the event brought a little bit of hope and light to my eyes and to my heart,” she said, a feeling that had seemed so out of reach since her son passed. 

And with Christmas around the corner, that light has helped bring back memories of the holiday with her son — flashes of Hunter scrambling down the stairs for presents, sharing hot cocoa and curling up on the couch to watch “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” — traditions she plans to carry on with his daughters.